Losing Friends in an Arizona Divorce: Why Does it Happen?

For many people, going through a divorce means dividing up friends and family, along with the property. It's a shame that, during a time when so much is uncertain financially and emotionally, your support network of people can seem so slim and difficult to navigate. As Scottsdale family law attorneys, we've seen many of the people we work with face these kinds of changes, and we want you to know that it's completely normal and part of the transition.

Why Do Friendships Change with an Arizona divorce?

There are many reasons you may see friends fade away or keep their distance during your divorce, including:

  • Choosing sides. It's an unfortunate truth, but many people feel like they have to choose sides during a divorce. Friends and family members often feel that they owe an allegiance to one spouse, either because they've known one spouse longer or have family ties. They don't want to make one spouse angry by supporting the other.
  • Not choosing sides. On the other hand, some people don't want to have to choose sides, so they end up avoiding both you and your spouse entirely or shut you down when you open up about the divorce.
  • Divorce is “contagious.” There is a prevalent superstition that divorce is "contagious" or that you can catch divorce like a cold. When your married friends hear you're going through a divorce, they may keep their distance in order to protect their own relationships at home. 
  • Divorce is depressing. Let’s face it - divorce is usually depressing. Sadly, you may have friends who disappear because they don't want to ruin a good mood or hear about anything sad. 
  • Fear of change. Communal friends can have a hard time when a couple they are close with splits up. They may feel awkward or not know how to act around you now that you are no longer part of the couple unit. 
  • Not getting involved. Ultimately, some people just don't want to get involved, step on any toes, or deal with the potential drama - even if your divorce is fairly amicable.

Losing friends during your Scottsdale divorce can be very painful, but you learn a lot about the people around you. You can survive this part, and you will make new connections, reconnect with old friends, and see your existing friendships evolve over time as the dust starts to settle.

If you need a hand with your legal needs during a Scottsdale divorce, call one of our friendly and experienced Scottsdale family lawyers today at 1-888-929-5292. We look forward to answering your questions and learning more about your situation in a completely free legal consultation. If you have questions in the meantime, please request your free copy of our book, Arizona Family Law - How to Handle Tough Issues in Tough Times.